Well, as I sit here at 39 weeks, 5 days pregnant, and just two days from my due date, I definitely have not given birth yet. And surprisingly, I'm not feeling as overwhelmed as I thought I would. I guess my crazy long to-do lists these last nine months have paid off. I almost feel eerily calm right now, which of course means that crazy will strike at any moment!
It's funny to read back over my first two pregnancy posts. The one from 25 weeks seems like a lifetime ago. And so much changed in the 10 weeks between the 25 and 35-week marks. And I can now say that the five weeks since my last entry have brought about just as much change (if not more) as the 10 weeks before.
How? Well, let's see: I developed the PUPPP rash, which I had never heard of and only occurs in about 1 in 200 pregnancies. I am literally never comfortable. Especially at night. I started wearing compression socks at home to help with the pain and swelling in my legs and feet. Yes, they are as sexy as you imagine them to be. And oh the teeny tiny bladder problems! It's like every time I think it can't get worse, it does. I can't remember the last time I made it 45 minutes without a pee break.
My belly is so large that not even most of my maternity clothes fit anymore. In fact, I was asked twice yesterday when my twins are due. For the first time in my life, I don't give a crap about what the scale says. It's become common for strangers and people I barely know to ask questions about my cervix or if I'm still having sex. Even my fellow boot campers looked terrified I would give birth in the gym the other day.
You get my point. My body is basically falling apart. While the physical changes are significant, it's the emotional changes that have been more noticeable to me. For a long time, I couldn't imagine being really ready for this baby to be born. (Because when is anyone ever really ready?) And for so long I was very sentimental at the thought of pregnancy coming to an end. It was something I prayed for and wanted to savor and cherish every moment of. It really is such a special time that you can never get back with your child.
But almost 40-weeks pregnant me says TAKE THIS BABY OUT! I completely understand now why the last weeks of pregnancy have to be so miserable. It's so those of us who have any ounce of sentimentality left about the end of being pregnant have to get over it. And guess what? I'M OVER IT! While I'm so thankful to have gotten pregnant and to carry a healthy baby to full term, it's time. Time for (more) sleepless nights, diaper changes, loud cries, and spit-up on all my clothes. When those things sound exciting to you, you know you're ready. And I am.
So dear baby, I've loved having you swimming in my belly these last nine months, but I'm ready whenever you are.